I went to a baby shower for Hawa and Kendalls baby Jabreel yesterday. Little J is such a beautiful boy and so peaceful. I think he really takes after his parents, both are such soft people. Hawa use to work with me in woolies, she left earlier in the year, presumably after she found out she was pregnant and married Kendall. Their wedding was small and emotional, I was really touched by their love but worried about the troubles they were going to face. Her family didn't know she was getting married, because she comes from, what I think, a strict muslim family. Her being pregnant, to a non muslim man, out of wedlock, would be tough to come to terms with within their culture. After a bit of a rough patch, her mum, sister and brother are very supportive now, but her father who lives in Libya still doesn't know about the baby or Kendall and he will be coming over here to Brisbane next month. I hope just seeing his precious grandson will soften any anger he may feel.
The gathering yesterday was so very lovely. It felt good to see Hawa because I hadn't seen her in quite a little while. She looked as beautiful as she ever does. So womanly and mature, I think she is a natural mother, she seemed so at ease. I really admire her because she has taken on all these surprises with such dignity and calmness. She is only my age but to me it always felt as though she had a few extra years under her. Kendall will be a great dad too. He was brimming with pride and knew all the right things to do for the baby. They are a gorgeous little family. I'm looking forward to seeing J grow and to be a hip aunt for him.
Holding Hawas baby only heightened my own maternal instincts that have been creeping in this year. I have been so clucky! I really just love holding onto a baby and have them sleep in my arms. I find myself looking longingly at mothers and their babies. Admiring glowing pregnant women. Watching little families walking together. I know its not time for me, far from it, but I would like some what to be a young mum. Don't get me wrong, there is much I want to achieve in the world, spiritually, mentally, physically, other than having a family. But its kind of cool seeing young mothers and knowing there wont be that huge age gap when their child is older you know. But I must say having a child from now until I'm 25 is not a concious decision I'd make.
Talking about having a child is weird out loud. I think its best kept to inside my head.
Im working saturday afternoon... ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh how sad.
The gathering yesterday was so very lovely. It felt good to see Hawa because I hadn't seen her in quite a little while. She looked as beautiful as she ever does. So womanly and mature, I think she is a natural mother, she seemed so at ease. I really admire her because she has taken on all these surprises with such dignity and calmness. She is only my age but to me it always felt as though she had a few extra years under her. Kendall will be a great dad too. He was brimming with pride and knew all the right things to do for the baby. They are a gorgeous little family. I'm looking forward to seeing J grow and to be a hip aunt for him.
Holding Hawas baby only heightened my own maternal instincts that have been creeping in this year. I have been so clucky! I really just love holding onto a baby and have them sleep in my arms. I find myself looking longingly at mothers and their babies. Admiring glowing pregnant women. Watching little families walking together. I know its not time for me, far from it, but I would like some what to be a young mum. Don't get me wrong, there is much I want to achieve in the world, spiritually, mentally, physically, other than having a family. But its kind of cool seeing young mothers and knowing there wont be that huge age gap when their child is older you know. But I must say having a child from now until I'm 25 is not a concious decision I'd make.
Talking about having a child is weird out loud. I think its best kept to inside my head.
Im working saturday afternoon... ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh how sad.
1 comment:
I don't think it's weird. Enjoy it. If often do and I think it's important. Perhaps in five years. Perhaps never. Who knows? Either way, I'm not ready yet. But really I'd like to be dad. Ah, I know how you feel, even though I may not be able to have so intense feelings about that issue ...
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